Already, the kids have asked me if they’ll be my height (6’3″). The question was asked with some trepidation, and I asked why they asked it that way.
“Because I don’t want everyone asking me about how tall I am all the time,” was the response.
“But people are curious, and they want to connect!” I assured them.
People! People. People can be daft, myself included. But people are also wonderful, warm, curious fellows! Strong, visible differences in a fellow human are the target of a range of reactions from people when together in public. Tall people take up a lot of visual space, so we experience a lot of reactions.
Common public reactions to exceptional height:
- Asking questions. There are sooooo many lists out there featuring the questions tall people get. Believe me, I’ve gotten all of them, and more. “Wanna wrestle?” has to be my favorite.
- Commenting. Little peanut galleries are everywhere! I am constantly privy to many conversations around me centered on height, 90% of which likely began with a comment on mine. Some comment to me directly, while some do it by whisper or out of earshot.
- Staring. Some people can’t help it! They have to process, visually, what makes them curious. Some bold souls ask to take a picture.
- Turning away. Whether out of discomfort with the difference or a determination to give me a normal day, some folks will very purposefully turn away.
An exceptionally tall person’s counter-reactions to these understandable human reactions to their height will run a gamut of their own. Actually, this gamut will probably evolve throughout one’s life, likely along with one’s personal development.
The Evolution of Counter-reactions
- Prickliness. Questions and comments can be jarring and rude, so it’s tempting to teach people a lesson by responding in a jarring, rude way.
- Sighs. Make it clear that these sorts of interactions are so common they are bothersome and not worth the energy it takes to respond. “Sssssiiiiiiigghhhhhhh!”
- Sarcasm. “Yeah, I’m tall? Haven’t heard THAT one before, bub.”
- Nervous humor. Reactions to height can create some tension. A vague desire to diffuse the situation can lead to uncomfortable jokes.
- Snark. This one can be fun, actually. Wink at the stare!
- Kindness. Just answer the damn question in a straightforward way, smile at the comment, or ignore the stare.
- Comfortable humor. This one can be sooooo hard to do unless I’m in the right mood! However, it’s the best. It’s graceful, it create a real connection. If a stranger initiates contact in any way whatsoever, unless there’s violence, treating them with empathetic lightness is never a bad idea.
Take it from me, as I’ve reacted in all of these ways at some point: Evolving internally, to the extent that one’s reactions also evolve, is a fantastic gift to self and world. Prickliness and sighs promote discomfort and grumbles. While sarcasm may yield smug satisfaction, it can be a real downer for people who were just trying to be sociable.
Even in the cases of the rudest questions, comments, and stares, I firmly believe that kindness and humor can lead to warmth and improved days for all. And, what goes around comes around.
Based on my daughters’ growth curves, they likely won’t be as tall as I am. My husband (6’7″) and I are both outliers in our families in terms of our heights, so we aren’t only passing on exceptional tall genes. They’ll be up there, though, and when my daughters reach their exceptional heights, I hope that they learn the joy of grace in dealing with fellow humans.
